For our last post, Steph wrote about how she gets asked about kids. Whenever someone gets married, the first question people ask, as early as the day after the wedding, is “when are you guys having a baby?”. First of all, this is pretty intrusive. And then when the couple has had a first baby, people quickly start asking about a second baby. As mentioned in previous post, “I️ just had this baby 4 days ago, why are you asking me about another baby?” But it’s funny how you then see the other side of the coin. The question gets switched to “are you guys done having kids?”, “are you getting your tubes tied?”, or "snip, snip" after the third kid. My husband and I️ were having a conversation the other day and I️ said, “if I️ got pregnant again, I️ wouldn’t tell anyone. I️ think I️ would be embarrassed”. Of course my husband right away told me I️ should NOT feel embarrassed about bringing life into the world. And he’s right. Why should I️ feel ashamed? I️ love my kids. I️ love being a mom. I️ truly love it. Is it exhausting? Absolutely. But being the mom of these 3 little boys is what makes my heart full. This came from me feeling judged by others because I’ve surpassed the “standard” amount of kids. But there are women who WANT a big family and WANT 5 or maybe 6 kids. Who are we to judge their lifestyle and their big family? Steph said: Everyone is different. Everyone's circumstances are different. Everyone's timeline is different. At the end of the day it comes down to, let us not judge people for wanting something different than what we want or have. We are all guilty of this. I’ve been guilty of judging someone that says “kids are too much, I️ don’t want any”. There are women that want 0 kids, and we think she won’t be fulfilled as a woman. There are women that want to be 1 and done, and we judge that her kid will grow up alone. There are women that want 6 kids, and we joke that they must not have a tv. But these all may be the desires of each of those women. We have no right or business asking people those types of questions. We may think they have a crazy life with all their 6 kids, but that doesn't mean they aren't in love with their "crazy" life. To each their own! P.S. - I am not currently pregnant. I repeat, NOT pregnant, in case you were wondering!
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AuthorsJust four married friends here to discuss relationships, life-changing events, parent-hood, religion, race & trending topics. Archives
January 2018
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