First you say “I do,” then you get bombarded with the “When are you guys having kids?” questions. I mean, I don’t get annoyed by those questions, but I do get anxious. Truth is my answer these days is, “I am not really sure.” I used to say, “2020!” until I realized I kind of want kids now. Today. Yesterday. It helps that I know my husband will be the best father ever. It also helps that I have amazing friends with amazing kids and a brother with a sweet baby girl and two sister-in-laws with kids. What doesn’t help is when I hear, “Oh, enjoy married life!” “Get ready, they’re expensive.” “Our lives revolve around the baby.” “We get no alone time.” “Daycare is expensive.” “Labor is the worst thing in the world.” “We can no longer just pick up and go!” “Go experience the world first.” Enough! Enough! Sure, some of these and maybe all of these are valid. But, please stop putting your negative energy on me, honestly, unless I ask. You do not know what someone has gone through. About a month ago I freaked out thinking I couldn't have kids. I had a slight health issue and let my mind play tricks on me after watching YouTube videos and reading WebMD. Newlyweds, I am here to say TUNE OUT THE OUTSIDE NOISE! Hopefully you discussed kids with your husband/wife, I mean that's essential. So what we decide for us will not and may not be what you decide for you all. This goes for everything: buying a house, traveling, buying a car, savings accounts, etc. Remember: Everyone is different. Everyone's circumstances are different. Everyone's timeline is different. After sharing my made-up concerns with the Garners, I was reminded there are some women who do have barren wombs. In fact, one of my best friends was told she could no longer have kids. So, my plans to wait years may have changed. Who am I to alter what God has in store?
I came across the blog: 8 Signs You Know You’re Ready for a Baby. It’s a good read. Quite frankly she says you’re never fully ready. So my advice is to read that. My other advice is to Let go and let God. Really. Prince and I are true believers in planning life to a tee, but this children thing. I’ve let go of the “plans” we have and am fully trusting the plans God has. In the meantime, we’ll enjoy each other, our friends babies, and our selfish spending. And on behalf of newlyweds everywhere, I’ll also politely ask you to stop offering your unsolicited advice.
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AuthorsJust four married friends here to discuss relationships, life-changing events, parent-hood, religion, race & trending topics. Archives
January 2018
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