Some changes have taken place at the Garner household this month. Both fortunately and unfortunately this mama has gone back to work. Fortunately because these bills need to be paid. After a 9 week maternity leave, I’ve been back at work for 3 weeks now. I could’ve taken 12 weeks total but I couldn’t afford 3 unpaid weeks this time around. With that being said, the support working mothers get in this country is extremely disappointing. I’m thankful my company offers 7 weeks of paid leave at 85% because I know there are many women that get paid less or don’t get paid at all for a maternity leave. There are also women going back to work at 4 weeks. A new mother I know is expected to go back to work 3 weeks after having a c-section because she hasn’t been at her company for a year. How crazy is that? Barely 3 weeks after having major surgery, and basically not much bonding time with her baby she is expected to report to work. Countries like Canada and Sweden offer their working mother's months of paid leave, but the “greatest country” does not. Remind me how we are gonna “make America great again”? Thankfully, again, my job is very accommodating. Not only am I able to work from home, but I also have very flexible hours. I work 5-11:30pm Monday-Thursday, 4-8pm Friday’s and 1-11:30pm Sunday’s. My husband works Monday- Friday 7:30-4pm. He takes over at that time so I can work. Pause- Let me take a second to brag about my husband. This man comes home after work to take care of his kids ( his 7 year old, an almost 2 year old toddler and an infant child) all by himself for the rest of the night. And a long night at that. I’ve shared before that Gabriel is our high needs child. The child doesn’t go to sleep by himself. I mean does he even believe in sleep? Many nights he is up til 11pm! Some evenings Patrick has even gone grocery shopping with all 3 kids while I work. I don’t think I’ve even done that. I actually feel pretty overwhelmed if I have to go anywhere with both of the 2 little ones on my own... so he’s the real MVP. Unpause. Because of my flexible hours, I work almost everyday. What life?? We live for Saturday’s so we can do things as a family and enjoy our lives. Even though it kinda sucks, this is what works for us during this stage of life. It allows me to be home with the little ones all day and be home when my school aged child gets on and off the bus. So my days are long and my nights are short. My day usually starts off at 6:45 am to help get Jayden ready and out the door, and continues all the day until around 12-1 am when I finally lay down to sleep. Between 6:45 am and 5pm my routine varies on a daily basis. There are days where I'm super productive and I feel like a great mom. There are also days where my house looks like crap and there are days when I don't do much. One day I may feel super energetic and clean, do chores, do activities with Gabriel, and then the next day I'm a complete Mombie (Mom+Zombie). And if I happen to catch a shower, then it's been a good day. I’ll get my “Normal” life back one day I’m sure. Our current lifestyle allows us to keep our kids out of daycare, which was a huge issue for Gabriel last year and saves us thousands of dollars. You read that right. THOUSANDS. The average cost of childcare in the US is 11k a year. That’s more than my yearly IUPUI college tuition! We were paying $205 a week for Gabriel last year and I have co-workers that were paying up to $320 a week. That’s over 1200 a month. I found it extremely sad when this lady in one of my Facebook groups was venting about how she wanted to have more kids but simply could not afford having multiple kids in daycare. Because who can afford 25k of daycare for 2 kiddos? Definitely not us. So here I am, writing this post while cooking dinner during the boys nap time. I make our dinner early, usually around 3 pm so that my family has something to eat each night, because I’m such a great mom and wife and all. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m not super mom. I don’t cook everyday. I usually cook 4 dinners during the week and one during the weekend. There are days that I use the boys nap time to take a nap myself or simply sit on my butt while watching multiple episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. We call those nights "pizza or chick fil a nights'. And even though that may not be the healthiest, during this stage of life, I’m okay with that. You win some and you lose some during every stage of life. So I'll enjoy our victories and I'll try not to dwell too much on our losses, as I'm sure one day I'll just look back and laugh at them.
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AuthorsJust four married friends here to discuss relationships, life-changing events, parent-hood, religion, race & trending topics. Archives
January 2018
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